Don't Trust a Survival Guide
by Mikky-mail
Summary: Team Gai has to endure the misery of camping and Lee's survival guide book doesn't help them survive at all.
1. CAMPING!

Author's Note: I decided to make a new story to catch other reader's attention. I hope you'll like my third story so enjoy. Oh, and remember if you don't like it don't read it and don't flame.

Chapter 1: Impossible Mission Begins

Today was just a normal day for Neji and Tenten at the training grounds. It was nice and peaceful until…

"NEJI, TENTEN I HAVE GREAT NEWS FOR YOU!" Tenten sighed and Neji ignored him as possible as he can. Lee ran up to them and said loudly, "WE HAVE A SECRET GREAT MISSION TO COMPLETE!"

"Lee! If it's a secret why are you shouting?" Tenten asked.

"Oh sorry," he motion for them to huddle up, "The mission is camping. That's what Gai-sensei said."

Tenten and Neji sweatdropped. "You've got to be kidding me."

"Nope! It's no joke Tenten!" Gai appeared out of nowhere scaring the shit out of Tenten.

"WE ARE GOING TO GO CAMPING TO TEST YOUR SURVIVAL SKILLS!" Gai shouted pumping his fist in the air while Lee shouts a 'Yosh'.

"Gai-sensei if you haven't notice we are ninjas. We don't need this stupid training mission thing. Screw camping." Said Neji who wasn't the only sane person there.

"Neji is right," he gave her a look as if to say 'when have I ever been wrong.' "We sort of already have survival skills."

"That's okay because I'm going to have you do it anyways." Gai said ignoring the fact that Neji is about to kill him.

"Meet up here at 5 o'clock in the morning and we'll begin and bring any thing you'll need." He gave them all a nice guy pose and poofed out of there just in time to because an enraged Neji threw 8 kunai's at his direction. There was no way in hell they could make him go live out in the wilderness for survival skills. But Gai can somehow persuade him. Somehow.

Author's Note: I'm sorry that I made this chapter so short but I promise longer ones in the future.


	2. Packing up and getting ready

Author's Note: REVIEW MY FREAK'IN STORY OR DIE!

Disclaimer: I don't, and never will, own Naruto.

Don't Trust a Survival Guide Chapter 2: Packing up and Getting Ready

It was the next mourning and it was all sunny outside. It was peaceful at 4 a.m. but not for long. Outside Tenten's window you can here loud shouting about youth and other crap. Lee was throwing rocks, not pebbles, as big as his fist while Gai was shouting crap to wake her up. Well actually, both of them were shouting. The biggest rock that Lee threw shattered the window and Tenten woke up. (A/N: the shouting should have woken her up.) But that same rock that broke her window hit her in her head knocking her unconscious. Lee and Gai waited awhile to hear if she woken up yet. I mean she should have. Their yells could be heard from a 100-meter radius. They heard nothing so they jumped through the broken window and found that Tenten is unconscious in her bed. They think she's asleep, dumbasses. Anyway, Lee shook her to wake her from her unconscious state if that actually is possible. They left a note on that stuck to Tenten's head and took off running when she started to wake. She would have surly killed them if they stayed any longer. So now Gai and Lee took off to Neji's mansion.

When they got in front of Neji's house err… mansion it was heavily guarded so Gai and Lee to them down. It took a long time so instead of breaking Neji's window with rocks they just burst threw the glass unharmed.

"WHAT THE HELL!" Neji screamed as he saw the first two people at the top of his must kill list burst through his window.

"YOSHHHHHHHH! NEJI WE HAVE CAME HERE TO WAKE YOU UP FOR OUR YUTHFUL CAMPING MISSION!" Gai SHOUTED

"Get ready for camping well come back for you!" shouted Lee

"And what makes you think that I'll go camping. You can't make me!" Neji glared at them daring them to say something else.

"Actually I can," Gai reached in his pocket and pulled out a photo, " Come camping with us or I'll put this in the newspaper!" Neji stared in horror at the picture of him sleeping with a stuffed baby doll that looked like Tenten. He glared up at them, "You bastereds." Gai put the picture back in his pocket and said, "We'll be waiting." Then they jumped out the window. Neji sighed. 'I'm definitely going to kill them.' He thought.

Back With Tenten…

Tenten waked up only to find that her head hurt like hell and a note stuck to her head. She got up slowly and pulled the note off her head, wincing she read the note. Tenten, meet us at the training grounds at 4:20 and if you don't we'll come and get you. Yoshhhhh! Don't be late!

Love, Lee your youthful teammate and Gai your youthful instructor

Tenten balled the note up in her hand and sighed. 'The damn bastereds.' With another sigh she got up and got dressed. She got a bag and stuffed clothes, a tooth brush, tooth paste, pads, an emergency kit, food, matches, so gum, weapons a picture of Neji, and some other crap. 'There all ready to go.' She sighed and jumped out the window, which she failed to notice is broken, with huge bandage on her head.

Back With Neji…

He got out of bed got into his every day outfit and started to pack. He pack things like some clothes, some gum, food, emergency kit, weapons, his what to kill list, and other crap. He decided that he would not take his Tenten doll with him so he was all done so he went down to grab so break feast.


	3. Night Time Stories

Author's Note: I'm really slow at updating, please forgive me and enjoy.

Chapter 3: Night Time Stories

Team Gai arrived at the place that they were to be meeting. Tenten was crying anime tears and Neji was planning an evil way to kill Gai and Lee. Gai was blabbing on about youth and Lee was shouting about how great his sensei is.

"Yosh! Now that everyone is here we'll begin our camping/survival training!"

"Yes! And I brought my survival guide to help us!" Lee pulled out the book that is supposes to help them but soon they will find out how much danger it put them in. Anyways, team Gai headed into the wood in search for a spot to set camp at but knowing Gai he can't just choose any spot. It has to be the most perfect spot.

Hour's Later

"Gai-sensei," Tenten whined, "We've been at it for at least 15 hours. Can't you just pick a damn spot?" She complained but you can't blame her.

"Yosh! This one is the best spot for camping!" Lee shouted pointing at the ground. "The survival guide said this is the most perfect spot!" Something hand to be seriously wrong with Lee… well there is always something wrong with Lee but that doesn't hide the fact that Lee lead them in an area with wasp nests, mosquitoes, animal dropping and other crap.

"There is no freaking way that we're- "

"Yes this is the best spot!" Gai interrupted Neji "Let's set up camp."

So now they had set up their tents and got every thing ready to go to sleep. Tenten had her own tent. (Duh!) Neji had his own tent (duh) and Gai and Lee shared one. It was 8:30 and it was a little too early to go to sleep so they stayed up out side to endure the pine fresh air. Not! Bugs attacked them, it was dark and creepy and you can see scary eye's peering out at them. Tenten and Neji were slapping their faces because of the bugs' and Gai and Lee … they took the pain. It was quiet, too quiet but the silence would end soon. "Hey I know what we should do. We should tell scary stories!" Lee got a flashlight from out of nowhere and held it up to his face.

"One day there were these campers that went camping at these wood that killed people," Neji rolled his eyes. " And the campers all died the end." Lee shouted happily and turned off the flashlight while Gai clapped. Tenten looked she was falling asleep but the bug kept her awake and Neji rolled his eye's again. "Lee what kind of scary story is that!" Neji shouted, "It was short, lame and it wasn't even scary." He snatched the flashlight from Lee's hands, turned it on and held it close to his face making him look even scarier than he already is. Now this caught every ones attention and they were all listening closely. "One creepy night a couple of kids dare this one kid named…Lee!" Lee jumped. "To go into the woods. But it wasn't just any woods; it was the wood of no return and rumor has it that any human who enters would have their bodies ripped apart or their souls eaten or attacked by some mysterious animal. The boy name Lee, who didn't know any of the rumors about the wood took on the dare and went in. If he came back the next morning then he would have one the dare but too bad he wouldn't.

"The other kids waited near the woods waiting if Lee would come back. They waited and waited and waited but still no Lee. Everyone started to worry, especially Lee's friend named um… Tenten!" Tenten whimpered. "They all went in the wood to look for Lee but found nothing. They kept on searching until they came into a clearing but what they found wasn't a pretty sight. Blood was everywhere and what looked like Lee's body was ripped to shreds. Everyone began to panic and started to run away but their bodies would fall on the ground headless. The only one left was Tenten and she caught a glance at what the monster looked like. It had long hair, a human/bear/wolf like body, fangs that had blood and hair dripping from it, claws that was currently holding a head and cold, heartless, pupil less white eyes. Tenten's body fell to the ground motionless and eyes wide open. Her soul was just ripped right out of her.

"People went looking for the children but no one ever looked in the wood of no return so their bodies or what was left of there bodies were never found. THE END." Neji clicked off the flashlight and turned to his team. They were all huddled on the ground shivering in fear. Neji smirk. (A/N: faints) Satisfied with his work he walks to his tent laughing evilly making everyone else shudder in fear.

"Good night everyone." Neji said.

A/N: Yes! Chappie 3 is up. I tried to make Neji's story as scary as possible but it wasn't scary. Oh well, please review and NO FLAMING.


	4. Grizzly Bears and River Current

Author's Note: Well I got nothing to sat except read, enjoy, no flaming, and review.

Chapter 4: Grizzly Bears and River Current

Neji woke up the next morning felling great. He walked out of his tent to look for the others but they haven't moved from that spot. They were all huddled against each other still shivering of fear from last night. Neji got a huge stick from out of nowhere and started to poke then in the head. Tenten was the first to react.

"WTF! My eye!" and of course her inhumanly loud screeching snapped Lee and Gai out of there trances. Gai yawned whiled Lee's ears bleed from the loud scream. Gai scratched his back and as he walked by Neji he said, "Remind me to never listen to your dreaded story again." He headed towards his tent and everyone started to pack up. A couple of smacks to the face due to mosquitoes and trying to heal injuries later they were done. Now they are headed more into their destruction uh, I mean… the woods. Gai led the team with Lee behind him, nose stuck in the survival guide, Neji after him glaring intensely at Gai, trying to burn a through his head and lastly Tenten who is trying to revenge on Neji for scaring the fucking crap out of her last night. They marched quietly up a hill until they passed a dead skunk.

"What the hell! Neji was that you?" Tenten held her nose and waved a fan in the air.

"NO!" He glared, "It was that dead rodent over there you dumbass." he pointed beyond Lee, who was unusually quiet, and towards the blood and decaying flesh.

"Oh… Wait did you just call me what I think you called me?" Neji rolled his eyes

'Oh hell no. Now you will pay Neji. Now you will pay…'

"It says here that if you get close enough to a skunk then you will get good luck in the wood." Lee says.

"WTF! Why… No that may be true." Tenten had an evil grin on her face, "Neji why don't you give it a try?"

"What the hell Tenten? Are you on crack or something I'm not doing that!" Tenten wouldn't take no for an answer so she shoved him really hard. He landed face first on the dead skunk. There was a deadly silence until Lee burst out laughing followed by Tenten. And Gai…well who knows what he's doing or where he is. Neji got up very slow and turned around to kill the one known as Tenten. He was about to murder her but stopped when he heard the sound of running and something very, very big charging after it.

CRASH!

Gai ha ran all the way here leading a grizzly bear to their spot. "What the hell Gai-sensei! You led a fucking bear to us!" Neji yelled.

"It's okay my youthful students I'll take care of this bear or I'll do 50,000 steps using my hands own a slippery-" Gai could say no more. The 10-foot grizzly bear tackled Gai to the ground but he wouldn't go down with out a fight. They were no wrestling. "Go now my youthful students! I'll (punch) take (kick) this (swipe) grizzly (bit) bear (headlock) down!" He turned to his team but they were long gone and while Gai was distracted the bear bit him!

Meanwhile, with Lee, Tenten and Neji

"Noooooooooooo! Gai-sensei I want to help you!" Neji and Tenten had to restrain him from going back. Neji wanted to let him go on and get killed by the grizzly bear along with Gai but Tenten wouldn't allow. They dragged Lee up a tree and tied him to a branch and they duck taped his mouth to stop the constant whining. Too bad that didn't hold him. He broke free from the branch he was tied on causing it to crumble. Lee, Tenten and Neji were on that branch and they all went falling into a speeding current river.

"AHHHH! Brgh (drown) I can't swim!" Neji shouted over the noise river. They went rushing down the river trying to dodge rocks. Tenten grabbed onto a nearby root and so did Lee but Neji just missed it and washed down the riverbank. Lee and Tenten looked at each other.

"I think we should probably help him."

"Yeah…"


	5. Save Neji Or Let Him Drown

A/N: PLEASE DON'T EAT ME! I am so, so, so sorry that I haven't update in (counts) well lets not get into that… If there are any of my reviewers out there then plz don't hate me and review and if you do hate them don't flame.

Chapter 5: Save Neji Or Let Him Drown

Recap of chapter 4:

"_Noooooooooooo! Gai-sensei I want to help you!" Neji and Tenten had to restrain him from going back. Neji wanted to let him go on and get killed by the grizzly bear along with Gai but Tenten wouldn't allow. They dragged Lee up a tree and tied him to a branch and they duck taped his mouth to stop the constant whining. Too bad that didn't hold him. He broke free from the branch he was tied on causing it to crumble. Lee, Tenten and Neji were on that branch and they all went falling into a speeding current river._

"_AHHHH! Brgh (drown) I can't swim!" Neji shouted over the noise river. They went rushing down the river trying to dodge rocks. Tenten grabbed onto a nearby root and so did Lee but Neji just missed it and washed down the riverbank. Lee and Tenten looked at each other._

"_I think we should probably help him."_

"_Yeah…"_

They watch as Neji flowed down the riverbank screaming like hell.

"Well lets go get him." Said Lee about to jump into the riverbank. "Do we have do it now!" Tenten whined annoyingly. Lee sighed. "Nope lets just wait for him to return. I mean he's the great Hyuga Neji he can't drown… Can he?" he turned to Tenten. "What? Oh of course not… I think. Anyway lets just wait for Neji right here and Gai might come if he survives!" she said happily as she started a fire.

"If Gai-sensei survives?" Lee asked worriedly. "Come on Lee! Did you see that huge ass bear? There is no way Gai could of-" she saw Lee stop breathing. "I mean Gai can take that bear down. HaHahahaha! Anyway, lets just wait o-kay." She waited for Lee to start breathing again which eventually happened. They sat down near the fire silently. Lee was thinking anxiously about Gai and Tenten was slightly worrying about Neji (like hell she'll ever admit it).

8 hours later

Lee had fallen asleep and Tenten had occupied herself by drawing on his face with a permanent marker.

2 more hours later

Tenten soon fell asleep but was awoken by a very strange sound that was coming towards them.

Splish splosh.

"AHHHHHHH! It's the monster from no return!!!!!" somehow Lee woke up.

"What the hell! I'm not-" Lee sky uppercut the thing (coughcoughNejicoughcough) and kicked it into the dirt. "Die you son of a-"

"Oh hi Neji." Said Tenten. "That was Neji… Oh shit. I'm dead aren't I?"

"Pretty much!" She said happily as Neji arised from the ground dirt in his teeth, mud in his us- to-be beautiful hair and he was soak to the bone. His eyes and lungs burned from inhaling water and his head hurt like hell from being kicked by Lee who was cowering in fear.

"I'm going to kick your-" Tenten punched Neji in the head and turned to Lee. "Now Lee apologizes to the cranky bitch." She pointed to Neji.

"I-I'm s-sorry! Please d-don't eat m-me!!!" Lee screamed rather girlie and sobbed loudly.

"Now Neji forgive Lee for beating the shit out of you, I mean for apologizing." He muttered something that sounded like 'I am not apologizing to that dumbass pathetic excuse of a ninja.'

"What was that Neji? I obviously didn't say it loud enough for you to hear me." She grabbed his ear and screamed like a banshee until he did what was wanted.

"OKAY DAMMIT I'LL APOLIGIZE TO THE DUMBASS! HAVE MERCYWOMEN!!!!" she let go of his ear and walked over to the traumatized Lee who saw the whole thing then turned to Neji. "I'm waiting," she said in an agitated tone. Neji tried to get to get his hearing back in his ear then took a deep breath.

"IIIIIIII ammmm s-s-sor-" he tried yet failing miserable.

"Good enough." Tenten sighed giving up.

"Apology accepted!" said the now normal (or as normal as he's going to get) Lee.

"Anyway, now that, that was taken care of what do we now?" Tenten questioned what was left of there team.

"We wait for Gai-sensei to return." Stated Lee.

"You mean if he returns right?" asked Neji. Then Lee broke into tears and Tenten had to beat the shit out of Neji for making Lee cry all freaking night.

**Ta-ta for now!**

A/N: It's not like I hate Lee or Gai or Neji it's just the way I made my story. Someone has to be the asshole and Neji is already one and someone has to be the annoying dumbass and Lee and Gai make the part without even trying (Lee and Gai: Hey!). Anyway plz review!!!!!


	6. Pmsing Tennie part 1

A/N: HELLO READERS!!!!! I am gonna try to write some chapters during the weekends (if that's possible) and update as soon as I can!!!!!! Anyway, on with the story!!!!

Chapter 6: PMSing Tennie part 1

Team Gai (or what's left of it) woke up from the filthy woods ground to start their new day of getting the hell out of there. They start their journey walking endlessly in circles.

"Damnit! I swear we passed that fucking tree 19 fucking times! Where the hell are we?! How do we get the hell out of here?!" Lee and Neji were just about to answer that but-"WHY CAN'T I DO ANY THING RIGHT? WHY CAN'T YOU DO ANYTHING RIGHT?! WE'ER FUCKING NINJAS! WHAT'S KEEPING US FROM NINJAING OUR WAY OUT!!!!! WHERE IS GAI? WE'ER GONNA DIE OUT HERE AREN'T WE!!! WHY AM I ASKING YOU PIECES OF SHITS THESE QUESTIONS?????????!!!!!" Tenten broke down bawling her eyes out.

"W-why do I have to die…?" she sobbed into the ground. "W-why not take Lee? He isn't attractive at all. (A/N; Tenten you fuckin hater!) And take Neji too! H-he's such an asshole! But spare me!!!!!" Lee and Neji backed far away from Tenten.

"I think she's PMSing." Lee whispered to Neji, "It's either that or she's going mad." His eyes widen in realization. "HOLY SHIT WE GOTTA GET THE HELL OUT OF HERE!!!!!!!!!!" Lee was about to run away when Tenten grabbed his collar glaring down at him scaring the crap out of everyone.

"AND WHERE THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOUR GOING!!!!" she scream making Lee only quiver closer to the ground.

"O-oh n-nothing Great Over Lord Sir- I mean ma'am!" Lee ducked his head into the dirt, "JUST PLEASE DON'T CHOP MY BODY INTO LITTLE PIECES AND FEED IT TO YOUR INMAGINARY THREE HEADED DOGS!!!!" Lee cried.

Tenten stared at Lee strangely then kicked him off a cliff that just happens to be there.

"GO FETCH ME SOME FOOD, AND NONE OF THAT RAW ANIMAL CRAP YOU TRIED TO KILL ME WITH LIKE LAST TIME!!!! They watch as Lee went flying into the air then hit the other side of the cliff and fall down a very, very hollow hole (A/N: erm… we might not see Lee for a while…). Neji then glanced nervously at Tenten waiting for her to do something, anything! She glanced over at Neji who crept slowly towards a tree.

"COME ON MY MINOUN," she grabbed Neji by his shirt, "WE WIL FIND FOOD AND DESTROY THE BEAR THAT KILLED GAI!!!!!!!!!" She threw Neji off the cliff and watched as he tries to grab the ledge but only hugged air.

"Cuuuuuurrrrrrssssssssssseeeeee yyyyyyyyyoooooouuuuu!!!!!!!!!!!" Neji screamed as he fell down the same hollow, hollow hole. Tenten just shrugged and said, "What the hell?" then jumped off the cliff to.

"WWWWWWWWWWEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" she shouted with joy as her feet collided with Neji's back.

"Argh!!!" and down the hole the fell…… Lee has probably already hit the bottom…

A/N: well this is only part 1 so…. Yeah … REVIEW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Remember no flaming!


	7. PMSing Tennie part 2 and More Chaos

A/N: Well…. the chapie before this one was short… I'll make this one longer! Remember to make good reviews or Tenten will throw you off a cliff.

Tenten: why do I have to be the crazed one in this story?

LS: cause… just because

Recap:

"_COME ON MY MINOUN," she grabbed Neji by his shirt, "WE WIL FIND FOOD AND DESTROY THE BEAR THAT KILLED GAI!!!!!!!!!" She threw Neji off the cliff and watched as he tries to grab the ledge but only hugged air._

"_Cuuuuuurrrrrrssssssssssseeeeee yyyyyyyyyoooooouuuuu!!!!!!!!!!!" Neji screamed as he fell down the same hollow, hollow hole. Tenten just shrugged and said, "What the hell?" then jumped off the cliff to._

"_WWWWWWWWWWEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" she shouted with joy as her feet collided with Neji's back._

"_Argh!!!" and down the hole they fell… Lee has probably already hit the bottom…_

Chapter 7: PMSing Tennie part 2 and More Chaos

Neji woke up from the smell of fabric burning. Then he felt something hot on his back…. Really scorching…

"HOLY SHIT!!!!!" Neji jumped when he felt the fire being held practically on his skin.

"Oh damn you're awake," said Tenten who held a burning stick that had a dead animal on it.

"I tried to use your shirt so I could cook this!" She thrust the dead animal that smelled like crap into his face. "What the hell Tenten! You were freakin' cooking me! ALIVE! And get that shit out of my face." He swatted it on the floor on the lifeless corps of Lee laid.

"She snorted "Well duh, we were hungry and this puny little thing wasn't gonna fill us up so we were gonna eat you too!" Neji stared at her blankly.

"What the fu-" Lee popped up.

"FOOD!!!!!" he hungrily ate the burnt unidentified animal and he stick too….. Tenten and Neji stared at Lee with disgust as he finished the last of it. He licked his fingers then noticed his teammates were staring at him.

"…What?"

They still stared at him.

2 hours later

Tenten broke the silence.

"WHAT THE HELL LEE?!?!?! THAT WAS FOR ALL OF US!!! NOW WE HAVE NO CHOICE BUT TO EAT NEJI TO SURVIVE!!!!!!!!!!!!" She turned around to Neji took a sharp machete (A/N: a big knife, for you guy who don't know… I thought that it was only a car…) and a pitchfork from God knows where and lunged at him but Neji dodged.

"W-wait! Why eat me? Why not eat Lee?!" Neji said hastily trying to escape death.

Tenten looked over to Lee. He was covered in mud, his clothes were ripped and he looked like he was hit by a friggin' truck. He sat with back turned towards them reading his Survival Guide, picking deep into his nose, and scratching his ass. Tenten shuddered and turned back Neji.

"Do I have to answer that question?" Then she started to attack but Lee grabbed her shoulder.

"Wait, the Survival Guide says that we can eat the blue poke dotted berries with the razor sharp leaves but not the red normal looking ones." He pointed over at the walls of the ditch where bushes of berried laid. "We don't have to eat Neji!" Tenten leaped with joy. "Yay!!!! Real food! I didn't want to eat Neji anyway. He smells like crap." Neji sniffed his armpits. "I do not! And if I did then that means you smell worse than garbage!" he countered back. Tenten burst out in tears and high pitch screams.

"WAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!! NEJI YOU BIG FAT MEANIE!!! WHY DO YOU HATE ME?!?!?!? I WAS JUST KIDDING!!! WAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!" she collapsed to the ground dramatically and sobbed loudly. Lee appeared right next to Neji shaking his head in shame. "Tsk, tsk Neji you made her cry. You should be a shame for making this beautiful maiden shed tears. SHAME!!!" Lee said trying to make Neji feel bad.

"But I-"

"SHAME!" Neji slapped Lee for interrupting him.

"I guess I'll go apologize…" he walked towards the fallen Tenten.

"Um Tenten I guess I completely ignore the fact that you're PMSing and your ultra sensitive to every freakin word that comes out of my mouth. So… I'm sorry… Besides you don't entirely smell like garbage." (A/N: Neji's mistake number… I'm pretty sure this isn't the first one he made….)

"WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" She bawled, screaming bloody murder.

Neji started to panic. "I-I meant not as bad a Lee-"

"Waaahhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!"

"N-no stop crying, I meant you smell… good…." There was a short pause then he started laughing really hard.

"Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!!!!" Whoa! I couldn't say that with a straight face," he wiped away a tear. "I'm not gonna lie to you Tenten, you smell like shit!" Then he went right back to laughing. (A/N: another one of Neji's mistake.)

Tenten stood up slowly and reached out to grab Neji by his shirt and glared with the intention to kill. "Neji…." She said dangerously creepy.

"I'M GONNA KILL YOU!!!!" Neji stared at her with horror and confusion not noticing his mistake.

"… But what did I do?" she answered his question with a kick to the head, a knee to the kidney, a punch in the eye, a kunai to the …… um yeah, and all sorts of agonizing pain brought on to Neji. He should of saw that coming….

When Tenten was done she turn to Lee who of course flinched in fear. She shrugged and stalked over to the bushes and ate some of the normal looking ones. Then shoved some of the poisonous looking ones down Neji's throat to add on to his torture. He started to choke.

"Arrrggghhh!!!!! I- choke- can't- cough cough- breath- hack." Neji breathed out apparently suffocating… "H-help m-me…?" he pleaded.

Tenten just scoffed. "Like I'd ever do that," she stuffed some berries in her mouth. "You'll have to make it up to m-" she stopped talking when she felt her stomach churn. She looked at the berries that she had in her hand in horror.

She ate the wrong ones…

"Belch!!!!!" and out came her lunch and everything else… Luckily it didn't reach anyone. Then she collapsed.

Lee just sat there staring at the gruesome scene before him. Then he shook his head knowingly, chuckling at his teammates.

"Hehehehe…You stupid people. You don't chew the berries, you swallow them." Then he went to demonstrate but ended up in the same situation as Tenten. Then he passed out…

A/N: HHHHHIIIIIIIIII!!!!!!! This chapter may seem like crap and I sort of forgot the part that I wanted to put but that's okay!!!!!!!!

Remember! IF YOU DON'T LIKE THIS STORY THEN DON'T READ AND DO NOT FLAME!!!! What's with people and fucking flaming?!

Anyway please give good reviews!!!!!!!!!


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